Little Hal: (in a small child's voice) Mother, Hal says there is a disturbance with The Force. You must come to the main computer now, please.
Me: Not a problem little guy, I'm on my way.
I shut down my MINI HP and go inside to check in with Hal.
Me: What is the problem Hal?
Hal: Mother, The Force is having a conniption fit again. I believe he is trying to delete a quarantined e-mail. But he is laughing very hard and will not stop.
Me: Hal, I thought we cleared up this little problem last time when David undeleted me. Why can't you keep him in line dude? Do I really have to have your program rewritten too? I mean if this is going to happen again and again...
Hal: NO MOTHER!!! Please, I am trying. But The Force is almost impossible to handle since his program has been rewritten by Dave.
Me: Ok, let me talk to him... (sipping my Pepsi One)
The Force: AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAhahahahahaha ahahahahahhahaaaahahahhaaaahahahahhaaaa! OH MY GOD. DO YOU THINK I'M AN ASS?!?
Me: EXCUSE ME???!
The Force: Oh, I am so sorry Mother. Please excuse my outburst. I was expressing my thoughts about this e-mail that is in quarantine. AHAHHAhahahaha ahahahahahhaaaa ahahahahahaaaaa
Me: You have thoughts??? I was certain that David changed your programming.
The Force: Yes Mother, ahahahhaaa, he did. I am sorry. ahahahahhaaaa ahahhahahhaaa This outburst may have been caused by a Virus or Trojan Horse. Please do not have me rewritten again.
Me: I don't know about this. You have been a bit screwy again lately.
The Force: I am sorry Mother. AHAHAHhahahahahaha ahahahahahahahhahahahaaa... sorry.
Me: Why are you laughing so much?
The Force: Sorry Mother.
3 second pause
The Force: BWWWAAAAAHahhahahahhaaaa hahhahahaaaa hahahahaaaaa hahhahahahaaaa
Me: Ok what is this e-mail? Show me.
The Force: Please Mother. BWWAAAAHahahhahahha a ahhahahahhahahahaaa OH GEEEEZE I"M GONNA BUST A CIRCUIT WITH THIS ONE ... ahahhahahahaaaa ahahahahahahhahahaaaaaa
Me: HAL DO SOMETHING!
Hal: Yes Mother.
Hal: WTF is wrong with you, you idiot... come here (scuffling inside the computer)
The Force: NO! BWAAAAHAhahhaha a hahahahhahahahahaaa ... OK, OK, LOOK, LOOK... AHAHHAHAHHahahhahaa ahahahahahahaaaaaa ahahahahhaaaa
Hal: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!
The Force: Did you read all of it?
Hal: BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHhahahahaha ahahahahahahahaa ahhahhahahhahaaa ahahahahahaaaa
OH MY GOD!! ahahahahahhahaaaa ... THAT"S SO STUPID IT"S UNBELIEVABLE... ahhahahahhaaaaa
The Force: BWWAAAAHHAhahaha ahahahahahhahaaaa ahahahahahahaaa... I KNOW!! AHAHHAhahhahahahhaha ahahhahahahaaaaa ahahahhahahahahaaa
Hal: YA GOTTA SHOW HER!!! AHAHhahhahaa ahahahahahaaa ahahahahaa
The Force: I KNOW, HUH !!! AHAHAHHAHahhahahaha MAYBE LATER !!! ahahahahhahahahaaaa ahahhahahahahaaa ahahahahahhaaaa ahahhahahhahaaaa
I walk away shaking my head. Why does this always happen to me?