Some fun facts on why witches don't worship the devil

Recently a friend from where I used to work at came over to say hi and see how I was doing. We were having coffee and talking and she happened to notice my book collection on witchcraft and my alter stuff. The much dreaded question came up about belief in God and Satan,  so I loaned her a book that I had that explains my religion and what it means to me. She was upset by the fact that I didn't believe in Satan or Hell, my excuse was that I hate competition and that I said it was manifested by Christian Priests to keep their converts in line. I also had a few things to show her on-line and one was the funny stuff about why we don't believe in Satan. Soooo here is something from an email that I showed her. Enjoy

TOP 10 REASONS WHY WITCHES DON'T WORSHIP THE DEVIL...

 

#10. Scorch marks on the furniture whenever Satan manifests.

 

#9. Not even Lysol can mask the smell of brimstone.

 

#8. It's hard to keep the flaming goat skulls lit when Satan isn't around.

 

#7. It's getting hard to find any blond virgins.

 

#6. Repeated stooping motion from administering the 'kiss of shame' is   hard on the older coven members.

 

#5. Cat keeps playing with Satan's tail, which really annoys him.

 

#4. Demons smell worse than the brimstone.

 

#3. Blood from sacrifices is hard to get out of the carpet.

 

#2. The wailing of the dammed souls in hell keeps the neighbors awake at night.

 

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY WITCHES DO NOT WORSHIP SATAN IS...
(DRUM ROLL PLEASE..)

 

#1. We cannot worship something that doesn't exist.

Author: Anonymous