Friday Funnies

We have many brothers and sisters that are Pagan in the armed forces. I found this while cleaning out my old emails... yes I'm a cyber pack rat. I save all my funny emails. I don't know who the author is but whoever you are ... thank you.

Military Pagans

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How to tell if you're a Military Pagan:
 
1.  When you use a flame-thrower to light the altar candles.
 
2.  When your athame has a bayonet attachment to fit on your M-16.
 
3.  When your robe is made of camouflage material.


4.  When your cakes & wine come from MRE's.
 
5.  When your book of shadows contains plans on defusing bombs, poison   antidotes and basic survival techniques.
 
6.  When your circle is marked by barb-wire.
 
7.  When you have to ride an ATV or HumVee to get to the Covenstead.
 
8.  When you use an artillery shell casing for your God symbol.
 
9.  When you take down a tent to move the Covenstead.
 
10. When your familiar is either a Doberman, Rotweiller or German Shepherd.
 
11. When you use a hubcap for a scrying dish.
 
12. When you use teargas to smudge when doing banishings.
 
13. When your goddess symbol is Tank Girl.
 
14. When 1st degree training includes Ninjisu or other forms of martial arts.
 

15. When your circle name is Spike, Slash, Ripcord, Hawkeye, Bubba, or anything that ends with 'ster'. See photo on right for Spike, Slash, and Rip..um  cord. Uh yeah, uh huh. My, my, my goodness. I do love men in military uh, uniform. Hmmmmm. Wuff.

 Ok, uh yeah, lost my whole train of thought there. 

16. When you use machine gun fire to cast your circle.
 
17. Instead of using an acorn or pine cone, you use a hand grenade for a God symbol (if there isn't an artillery shell available).
 
18. When you use a compass for a divination tool.
 
19. When you use a bullet on a string for a pendulum.
 
20. When you call your High Priest "Commander", and your High Priestess "General" or "Bitch Queen". 


Have a really nice fun weekend my minions. Love you all. xoxoxoxoxoxox